In a setting where controversy is unavoidable, let’s embrace it - and expose the giant elephant in the room right off the bat! Two Bachelorettes, though the show’s producers could never convince me that there was an argument for Britt over Kaitlyn, outside of the fact that this awkward situation makes great television! Let’s be honest, from Bachelor: After The Final Rose to the social-media frenzy that followed the double-bachelorette news, Kaitlyn has always had the upper hand on Britt and should have been crowned bachelorette right off the bat. Our faces collectively cringed as these two lovely ladies were forced to watch each other give their hard sales pitch to each suitor!
The salaciousness boggles my mind! Regardless, after a crazy first half of the two-part episode, #OhCanada we have our lady and her name is Kaitlyn! Let's not forget that this first night was filled with drama. Cases in point: This might be considered (in my opinion, at least) the worst group of suitors in the history of this show , especially belligerent Ryan M and his many amazingly drunk moments, and the suitors ultimately have to understanding that they might be putting all their Bachelorette eggs into a basket that could be history within hours!
What I really want to know is how a show decided that the most eligible women in North America deserve the likes of a stripper and an “Amateur Sex Coach” from Canada, nonetheless. (Both of whom have already been eliminated, by the way.) Wait…honestly what is an Amateur Sex Coach? How does one become a sex coach, let alone reside in the amateur ranks? Furthermore, how does one become a Professional Sex Coach and does it boast health benefits? I digress...
The first episode is usually the feeling-out point of the season, where we decide as an audience whether we’re going to join this “journey of Love”and see it through to the end. I have to admit, although the pull of having a second Canadian Bachelorette should be enough, I’ve been Bachelor’d out recently due to promises of explosive seasons followed by nothing more than the same old show. I was ready to retire my live-tweeting thumbs and set my Mondays on cruise control with what looked to be the promise of another redundant season.
That is, until the season previews! I never, ever use stereotypical text message abbreviations, but I felt my jaw drop to the ground as I was mouthing…OMG! I can honestly say that in the entire time, from season two, that I have watched this franchise (and, well, starred in the Canadian version), I have yet to see a preview which actually promises what we all want! Drama, mystery, intrigue, twists and turns, and, most of all–dare I say – sex?
Over the years, the series has alluded to the fact that this actually goes on, but has kept mum on the details, leaving it up to viewers’ imaginations. Even when Nick V called out Andi Dorfman on his season’s After The Final Rose, it was considered inappropriate and in poor taste. Speaking of Nick V, his return caused an aberration in the tone of the entire preview. He appears out of nowhere and has what seems to be an instant connection with Kaitlyn, something we can only assume started prior to the show, and within a two-minute span we see a naked man running from a hotel room and Kaitlyn sitting the boys down to fess up that she did, in fact, do the deed with someone.
Do I need to say again? O…M…G!
Crying ensues on levels that we’ve never seen before and the screen fades to black, with Kaitlyn saying that she isn’t a bad person. How dare you leave me on the edge of my seat like that? Bachelorette, I was used to you being so mundane and predictable, but now you’ve made me believe that everything I want in this reality show will come true… so please, don’t let me down!
Oh, and I’m guessing we’re all thinking the same thing: that she slept with Ryan Gosling’s brother, Shawn B, and that they live happily ever after. Let’s be honest, after night one, no one else has a chance…and she can’t pick Nick V because he’s just too creepy!
I can’t believe I’m saying this, because I tend to be more of a fan of the Bachelor, but it looks like this season of TheBachelorette could be epic!
Please, please, please, ABC…