Adele has revealed a secret struggle she battled following the birth of her son, Angelo, in October 2012. Opening up for the first time about her postpartum depression, the 28-year-old singer told Vanity Fairthat she's now "too scared" to have another baby as all she could think at the time of Angelo's birth was that she'd made "the worst decision" of her life.
"My knowledge of postpartum, on postnatal, as we call it in England, is that you don't want to be with your child; you're worried you might hurt your child; you're worried you weren't doing a good job," she told the magazine. "But I was obsessed with my child.
"I felt very inadequate; I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my life… It came in many different forms.
"Eventually I just said, I'm going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever I want without my baby. A friend of mine said, 'Really? Don't you feel bad?' I said, 'I do, but not as bad as I'd feel if I didn't do it.'"
The star continued: "I think it's the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurised into having kids, because that's what adults do.
"I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Every single day I feel like that."
Asked whether she is considering having a second child with her partner, charity CEO Simon Konecki, she replied: "I'm too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me."
The interview comes as Adele nears the end of her ten-month tour to mark her album 25. She admitted she still feels uncomfortable spending time away from her child.
"I'm enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I'm doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can't put him to bed,” she said.
"I never feel guilty when I'm not working. You're constantly trying to make up for stuff when you are a mum. I don't mind because of the love I feel for him… I don't care if I don't ever get to do anything for myself again."